Finally a customer decides to take home my carcass, which had been hung up for almost a week. Even though not for once I was praised, when I was alive, healthy and active, my carcass gets a lot of praise. The conscience that exists after being separated from the body is very irritating. You have nothing to keep you entertained. Just gloom over the fact how your flesh is being treated, just gloom over the regret you feel for being born as cattle. Anyway I was totally engaged with glooming.
The man stuffs my body into a freezer. The last time I was stuffed into something was while being transported to the slaughter house from the farm I lived in. Comparing the last time, this situation is much better, at least there is no pain being inflicted upon me. The other few facts that make the body less conscience a useless shit is that it does not know when it is day or night, cannot touch anything, and cannot make anybody realize that something like it exists.
I do not know how long my body was stuck in the freezer, a second, an hour, a day or a year is all the same for me. The man had displayed a lot of items around my flesh. He had decided to play with my body for a while, I realized. The funniest part here I find is that, he handled my carcass with a lot of care. I have never felt such care and attention in my entire life. He focused on my hind legs, it is weird to see you being sliced, scraped, smashed, heated and not feel a thing. His body language told me that he was done with me. After all the craft works he did to me, I looked nothing like myself. Instead of my clear white skin I saw a bloody red slice of my hind cutlet garnished with a lot of leaves and vegetables. I wondered what they were going to do with this thing that they created out of me, and I wondered what it smelled like.
“Here is your steak sir” says the waiter. The client is pleased to see the so called me. I was flabbergasted to see him smile as he smelled the ‘thing’.
As a calf I loved the smell of milk, the green grass, of rain and so on... I got to drink my mother’s milk for a few days before I was shifted to another farm. I have always wanted to be with my mother because she was the only creature that cared for me. I had no luck in that case but I had a lot of luck in the case of food. The farm was big and had vast green lands. I was happy there if not lonely.
The client did not find my flesh as interesting as the smell or the aroma as you say it because he was frowning a little. I waited to hear him complain, I thought once dead all are considered divine, but what divinity in a slaughtered cattle right! “The flesh has no juice in it” is his complaint; I thought for a solution to his problem, may be he should have killed me long before, when I was a lot younger and healthier, as for now only his happiness is what matters, and only his. The thing was no more seen, all of it was inside him.
He gets up to leave, as he walked away I realized my conscience being diverted a little, now I could even sense what that man was doing.
I saw myself again in forms similar to the previous one many more times. Each time the person who had me leaved, a part of my conscience followed him.
Even after being completely vanished from earth, I feel a small tinge of my existence in the form of those people who had me. I realize that I have become a parasite. A parasite that cause them harm and never get caught.
(*My imagination of a slughtered cattle's soul speaking.)
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